Money or Safety? How to Make the Hard Choices

A friend of mine posted this question and tagged me asking if I had advice:

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I am guessing there are many more people who are facing hard choices like this, so I asked her permission to share the question. Here is an expanded version of what I shared with her.
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Before anything else, take a deep breath! We are all making a lot of hard choices right now. Take the time to think it through - you've got this!

Why Social Distancing?

I am sure most of us have seen some version of this chart. When we are evaluating staying home it is important that we understand what is at risk. Even if our own children and families are low risk, the more that we spread this disease the more will be infected.

My nephew is 5 years old and recently started having seizures. So far no medication or treatment has been able to get them under control. On a good day he has a few seizures. On a bad day he is having seizures every hour or more. When he gets sick it gets worse - much worse. My grandmother is 90 and has congestive heart failure. On the phone the other day she said that canceling things was to "protect all those older people" without seeming to realize that she is in that group too.

It is easy to minimize in times like these because the stress is a lot to handle. But the best thing that we can do is to stay at home if at all possible.
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Even if you don't go anywhere and don't expose anyone else, you probably have little to no control of who is going in and out of the daycare and how many more people you are getting exposure from.

Questions to Ask:

• Do you or your family have any other things that put any of you at higher risk? If you are not sure, call your doctor's office.
• How confident are you in the sanitization plan at the daycare? Have they published their plan? Are they getting parents involved? Do they have handwashing and temperature checks at the door?
• How many other kids are they watching? How are pickups and drop-offs being handled?

Making Money Work

Most of the time you are locked into contracts with daycare providers so that even if your kids are not there you still have to pay. This absolutely makes sense.

However, it is worth realizing that the normal rules don't apply right now, and you don't know if you don't ask.
Try to appeal that based on everything that is going on. If they can't waive fees entirely, maybe a payment plan is available. There may be financial relief for them from the state to make up the lost income on their side. Or you might be able to split the difference.
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Only you know how big of a deal financially this would be from a lost work standpoint and a daycare cost standpoint. Now is time to truly take stock of where you are at financially so that you can start making better decisions. Now is NOT the time to stick your head in the sand. Be proactive about every bill.

Questions to Ask:
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• Do you have adequate savings that you can afford to take a loss on daycare?
• Do you have significant debt? Is any of that negotiable in order to relieve the strain on your budget in the short term?
• Is there anything that you can put off to later or work out a payment plan on to free up more cash now? Cashflow is the key right now!
• How can I minimize the impact on others? Remember that larger businesses are better able to absorb changes than small businesses!

Getting Work Done with Kids at Home

I started my business a year before my oldest son was born. At one point I had a 2-year-old a 1-year-old and a newborn. Take all the challenges of being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom and mash them into one. It is not for the faint of heart! Now a lot of people are being thrust into being work from home parents with no ability to plan ahead, weigh different options, or make choices. That makes it even harder, but you can get through this! One day at a time.

What works depends a lot on the age of your children, but there are some things that are true at every age:

• Take time to connect intentionally with your child throughout the day
• Make sure your child's needs are met first and it will be easier to get work done
• Be willing to be creative and try lots of things until you find what works

Every child and situation is different. I have used a lot of different strategies over the years. Right now my 7-month-old still has a hard time staying asleep if I am not holding her AND moving. So I put her in a baby carrier, turn on some music, and dance with my laptop on the kitchen counter. I also got a yoga ball that I can sit and bounce on at my desk when I need time to sit.

Bonus: my legs are super in shape! There are always bright sides.

Questions to Ask:
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• What creative workarounds can you think of in the short term?
• Are your clients at all able to schedule early morning or lunch or evening meetings when your husband is done with his work and can take over with the kids?
• Can you do fewer meetings and more via email etc. that is not time dependant?
• Can you get up early before the kids are up or stay up late after they are in bed to get work done?
• Would short bursts of time work - 20 minutes working, 10 minutes with your kids?

Looking for Creative Places to Get Help

It is always okay to ask for help, but if you needed an excuse a global pandemic sounds like as good a one as any! Remember that you don't know unless you ask. Don't be afraid to think outside the box to get what you need.

Keep your eyes open for all the resources around you. Even if you need more work time, you might be able to find a source to free up income so that you don't need as much work time anymore. Think about what you really need, and if there are any substitutes. We can get really stuck in our ways and not realize that the answer is right under our nose.

Have an attitude that everything is on the table!

Questions to Ask: 
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• Is it possible to hire other kinds of help other than daycare in order to keep up? Many people are looking for things they can do to work from home right now. Would you be able to hire a VA or someone that can do little stuff a couple hours a week so that your work time can be the things only you can do? This might allow you to scale back your actual workload while maintaining the client relationships and helping someone else all at the same time.
• Is there anyone who can come live with you for a while to provide support? Yes, there is a one-time exposure from the new person entering the home, but once they are there, they are there. Do you have a teenaged friend/cousin/niece/nephew who is suddenly off school who might be able to help out? One of your parents who would rather be quarantined with their grandkids than bored alone at home? It would have to be someone who is okay with (and you are okay with) staying with you for a while, depending on how things change. And you would have to have room for them and be able to accommodate the extra cost of food.
• Are there any subscriptions/expenses that you can eliminate right now to make more room for new needs?

What About You?

These are some of my thoughts and advice, but let's get sharing! I am sure many of you have other great things to add. What would you tell this mama right now?